Holding Patterns

Still in the Waiting Room of Life

While I’m in this strange little holding pattern - waiting for radiation to start - other small steps are quietly unfolding. Today, I had my genetic counseling call about the BRIP1 gene. I had a short list of questions, mostly about what this means for me going forward. Should I consider an oophorectomy? Or would it be enough to just keep a closer eye on things during my annual checkups?  Turns out, oophorectomy is the only answer.  So I guess another surgery is on the horizon.

In the meantime, I’m doing my best to pretend radiation isn’t looming. I’ve been enjoying the simple, quiet rhythm of home - visiting with my kids, hanging out with my husband, playing with my kitty. I haven’t driven as much as I thought I would, but I did learn how to use the Tesla charger at Wawa! That felt like a little win. Maybe today we’ll try to get the home charger installed - we’ve had it sitting here since before we even picked up the car.

I’ve also been working on my radiation treatment punch cards, but they’re not turning out quite as nice as I hoped. Maybe the oncologist’s office ended up making some, based on my suggestion. That would be a nice surprise.

After my phone appointment, I visited a new local cancer center that’s affiliated with our main hospital. My treatment is about 30 miles away, which feels far, but when I was first diagnosed, my doctor gave me a list of providers she called a “dream team.” They’re worth the drive. At the time, I didn’t care how far I had to go - I just wanted to move quickly and get the best, most thorough care possible.

Still, I had hoped this local cancer center might offer some resources - maybe physical therapy, or support groups -something that could save me some miles. But it turned out to be just a regular office building with a few physicians inside. Not quite the hub of support I imagined.

So, it looks like I’ll keep making the drive for physical therapy too. It’s disappointing, but it is what it is. For now, I’ll try to stay in the moment. Quietly waiting, quietly healing.