25 of 33 - Week #5

25 of 33 – Week 5

I’ve made it through another week, and now I have just 8 visits left. I am so desperate for this to be over, yet I can’t believe it’s almost done.

This week brought more than just daily radiation appointments. On Monday, I saw the oral surgeon about a broken tooth that will need to be pulled. Just what I needed - another nightmare to juggle on top of everything else.

On Tuesday, I saw my radiation doctor, and she told me that the skin reactions I’m having are actually quite mild. She doesn’t expect things to get much worse from here. If this is the worst of it, I’ll be so relieved - though I’ll only fully believe it once the whole process is over. Still, it was wonderful to hear that she thinks I’m doing very well and that my skin is holding up. That gave me a little boost of hope.

Even so, my skin is breaking down badly at this point. Blisters, peeling, pain, tenderness, and swelling are my new reality. Most of my day is spent on skin maintenance. Saline soaks, silvadene, lotion, aquaphor, ice packs, etc. When this is over, I think I will be most relieved to just be living like a normal person and not constantly applying ointment or lotion or ice!

Tuesday afternoon, I decided to treat myself to a spa facial because I needed something to help me feel normal again. My skin feels dull, and I think the stress and water retention have aged me during this process. Hopefully, a little pampering will perk me up.

On Wednesday, I saw my endocrinologist for my regular checkup. Then on Thursday, I had an ultrasound as part of the preparation for my upcoming oophorectomy. 🍉 I also brought a big bowl of fresh watermelon cubes for my radiation team. I like to treat them nice since they’re always so kind to me and helping to save my life!

On Friday, my sister came with me to my appointment. It was so nice to have company for the drive and to share a little of what my daily routine is like. She got to see the radiation machine, meet some of the other patients I chat with in the waiting room, and see firsthand the burns and changes my skin is going through. That part is tough - the blistering and peeling under my breast is hard to face, and my underarm is an angry, screaming red. Thankfully, my underarm hasn’t broken down into blistering or peeling… yet.

Throughout all of this, my Tesla has brought me more comfort and joy than I ever could have imagined. The drive is actually something I look forward to each day. It’s fun, modern, and just overall the greatest car ever. One of my favorite features is summoning it to me when I’m done with radiation - it feels so cute and remarkable every time. Today it was especially handy because it was pouring rain, and my car came right up to the porte cochere to pick up my sister and me. I’ll forever be thankful to my husband for giving me this modern beauty to help carry me through the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

Even with those struggles, I keep coming back to what my doctor said: that things are holding up well and shouldn’t get much worse from here. That gives me hope. Every appointment takes effort, but each one brings me another step closer to the finish line - and now I can finally see it.

Still, I can’t help feeling sorry for myself and sad that this is happening. I’m doing everything I can to keep my skin and body in good shape, but there’s only so much a tiny mouse can do against modern medicine and a $5 million IMRT machine. I will be so relieved when this is over. My heart aches for what I’ve had to endure - and for what still lies ahead.